Hey guys,
I know its been a couple of months since I have posted. Even though I am sure you would like to be up to date with every single aspect of my life (haha), I think I shall spare you.
I have been sick and in bed with a cold for the last two days. This has given me some time for much needed thought. With classes being over, having started a new job, and moving next week, I think that this cold came at a very good time.
Today, I listened to a wonderful song by one of the young ladies that I mentored in Midland. She is 15 and I can't believe it. I am blessed to have known her and all of the other young ladies there. I realize that at almost 22 years old, I have to call these teens "young ladies," because that is what they are! Wow, nothing like a reality check. That was not what I wanted to write about, but it was a good segue into what I do have to say.
My life to this point has been set on serving God in any way that I can. I have been the young lady who is known for her prudence and knowledge of Jesus among my peers. But what have I gained in this other than the esteem and pride? Nothing. I have nothing except for my relationship with Papa God, my Beloved Husband Jesus Christ, and my Wise Comforter The Holy Spirit. Even these relationships are not where I would think that they should be.
I have succumb to laziness, among other falsities and sins. I have come to know that if you give the devil an inch, he will take complete control. So what to do now? I have to stay perfect...or do I? What does it mean to love God and people the same way Jesus does? It means getting down in the nitty gritty with the unlovely people. Its easy to love the wonderful grandmother figure in church. Its easy to love those who have taken you into their arms and called you theirs.
But what does it look like to love the smelly, sarcastic, harsh individuals that Papa loves to send our way? It means that we get a free ticket to be polished for Jesus. It means that we get to mount up on wings as Eagles, run and not get weary, walk and not faint. It means that our hearts are being conformed even more into the image of God. And it means that we will see in ourselves, as others around us will see, that we are not perfect. We will all see how Eden is not perfect nor righteous in any way except for what she has inherited from Jesus himself.
Let me tell you brothers and sisters, please look into the Eyes of Jesus. Look upon our savior and see that He is looking right at YOU. His heart is for YOU to know His heart. He will capture your heart, if you will only let Him.
Will you let Him?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
New week, new issues!
Hey everyone,
This last week (since today is Monday) was very difficult. I was so very stressed out with mid terms and various class activities that I only made it to work out one day. I think that burn out is no longer the issue, this is past burn out. I'm praising God that spring break is next week. One thing that I have come to realize is that there is a very special place under God's wings. This is an awesome place to reside, and also is a place that I tend to forget about.
I get tired and worn out very easy this semester. I think that right now, I am learning how to completely lean on Papa God to get through these issues. I am spending more time with Him, completely on my face. I encourage everyone to do the same, especially when you feel as though your world is crashing down.
This week is going to be different and blessed. This morning at the Wesley Monday morning prayer meeting, all I could pray is that when we get frustrated, that we will see the eyes of Jesus. It is in the eyes of Jesus that we find love beyond all understanding. It is here that we find that comfort, peace, and rest in Him that changes our perspective.
Lord,
please give us a heart that is so on fire for You. When we see the eyes of those that are spiritually broken, let us see Your eyes. Papa, give us a heart to serve only You, to worship only You, You are our King!!!
Love,
Eden
This last week (since today is Monday) was very difficult. I was so very stressed out with mid terms and various class activities that I only made it to work out one day. I think that burn out is no longer the issue, this is past burn out. I'm praising God that spring break is next week. One thing that I have come to realize is that there is a very special place under God's wings. This is an awesome place to reside, and also is a place that I tend to forget about.
I get tired and worn out very easy this semester. I think that right now, I am learning how to completely lean on Papa God to get through these issues. I am spending more time with Him, completely on my face. I encourage everyone to do the same, especially when you feel as though your world is crashing down.
This week is going to be different and blessed. This morning at the Wesley Monday morning prayer meeting, all I could pray is that when we get frustrated, that we will see the eyes of Jesus. It is in the eyes of Jesus that we find love beyond all understanding. It is here that we find that comfort, peace, and rest in Him that changes our perspective.
Lord,
please give us a heart that is so on fire for You. When we see the eyes of those that are spiritually broken, let us see Your eyes. Papa, give us a heart to serve only You, to worship only You, You are our King!!!
Love,
Eden
Monday, February 22, 2010
Week Five
This last week was week five of my life change. I actually made it all five days! However, because of my knees acting up, I decided to go easy and not run. It was nice to be able to use working out as a time to get away from the craziness of my life!
I realized last week that I was severely burned out. I was so tired and frustrated that I just wanted to quit school. I know that it will not boil down to actually quitting school, but this is the way I felt. With some amazing help from a couple of really wise friends (thanks Audrie and Alicia), I realized what I needed to do was to take some time away from my school work and head out of town. So Saturday, Grandma Betty and I went to Balmorhea to paint the town red and have some road time.
I realized that I want to write a book and make a CD. I know this is a little off the wall, but this has been a desire of mine for a long time. I am quite excited to see where this book/CD project is going to go!
So this week, I am going to focus on midterms and projects. Hopefully these next two weeks will not take too long to finish up.
Well, that is all I have for now.
Thanks for reading,
Eden
I realized last week that I was severely burned out. I was so tired and frustrated that I just wanted to quit school. I know that it will not boil down to actually quitting school, but this is the way I felt. With some amazing help from a couple of really wise friends (thanks Audrie and Alicia), I realized what I needed to do was to take some time away from my school work and head out of town. So Saturday, Grandma Betty and I went to Balmorhea to paint the town red and have some road time.
I realized that I want to write a book and make a CD. I know this is a little off the wall, but this has been a desire of mine for a long time. I am quite excited to see where this book/CD project is going to go!
So this week, I am going to focus on midterms and projects. Hopefully these next two weeks will not take too long to finish up.
Well, that is all I have for now.
Thanks for reading,
Eden
Friday, February 12, 2010
What a week!
This week has been an uphill climb. To explain this, I am going to tell you a story.
The spring of 2009 I had to take an ecology class at Sul Ross. One of the many field trips that we were able to take was to hike up Mt. Liver moor (Third tallest mountain in Texas at an elevation of 8,378 ft.) We started at the bottom and we hiked all the way up. We hiked up a steep caliche road for the first half of the journey. For those of you who know about climbing mountains, you know that climbing up steep roads is not the best way to go. It was slippery and steep-not the best for a not-in-shape gal like myself to be climbing. I was climbing with my friend Nichole, who has been an amazing friend over the last few semesters. We started the hike and withing about 200 ft had to stop to catch our breath. We kept climbing and climbing so that we could reach the top. We got left behind by the faster hikers and we were by our selves. It got to a point on this journey that we were stopping every ten steps to catch our breath and remain standing. Eventually we caught up with everyone at the midway point where the actual trail started. We rested and kept going. As soon as the group started again, we were once again by our selves. All this time, we were talking and encouraging each other to get to the top. This was the most difficult thing I have ever done physically. Eventually we got to the top and were able to share in the victory of completing the hike. As I climbed the rocks to reach the very top, I was able to see the surrounding mountains perfectly! The cool breeze rushing past was amazing!
I can honestly say that I felt more accomplishment and joy right then than I have ever before. It was so hard on my body that I felt like a feather that could be blown in the wind. The journey back down was easier, but still tricky. The caliche roads were still slippery so we had to control our pace and foot placement.
The reason why I am writing this is because I believe that the Lord showed me a picture of my journey with Him this week. Just as Nichole and I climbed up that mountain, Jesus and I have been climbing a spiritual mountain. He is always there, stopping with me when I need to rest. He is there when I need to vent about how hard this is. He is still around when I decide weather to keep going or to head back down. He said that the day is coming when we will be able to reach the top and experience the joy that comes with it. As for now, we are climbing this mountain together, all the while getting to know each other.
As far as working out is concerned, I walked/ran two days and did Pilate's for two days. I took today (Friday) off because of a sore knee that I had yesterday and also because of sheer exhaustion. I will start up again on Monday.
This up hill battle has shown up over the last couple of weeks in several ways. The main way is that I have felt like I have no control over anything any more. I guess that this is a good thing as I should not be controlling and micro managing my life. I have felt like God is far away and has almost forgotten about me. I know that this is not true, but feelings are feelings and I cannot ignore them. I am learning to face the truth and proclaim it over myself daily.
Praise be to God who reigns on High! I am able to find victory in Him because He has already won all battles!
The spring of 2009 I had to take an ecology class at Sul Ross. One of the many field trips that we were able to take was to hike up Mt. Liver moor (Third tallest mountain in Texas at an elevation of 8,378 ft.) We started at the bottom and we hiked all the way up. We hiked up a steep caliche road for the first half of the journey. For those of you who know about climbing mountains, you know that climbing up steep roads is not the best way to go. It was slippery and steep-not the best for a not-in-shape gal like myself to be climbing. I was climbing with my friend Nichole, who has been an amazing friend over the last few semesters. We started the hike and withing about 200 ft had to stop to catch our breath. We kept climbing and climbing so that we could reach the top. We got left behind by the faster hikers and we were by our selves. It got to a point on this journey that we were stopping every ten steps to catch our breath and remain standing. Eventually we caught up with everyone at the midway point where the actual trail started. We rested and kept going. As soon as the group started again, we were once again by our selves. All this time, we were talking and encouraging each other to get to the top. This was the most difficult thing I have ever done physically. Eventually we got to the top and were able to share in the victory of completing the hike. As I climbed the rocks to reach the very top, I was able to see the surrounding mountains perfectly! The cool breeze rushing past was amazing!
I can honestly say that I felt more accomplishment and joy right then than I have ever before. It was so hard on my body that I felt like a feather that could be blown in the wind. The journey back down was easier, but still tricky. The caliche roads were still slippery so we had to control our pace and foot placement.
The reason why I am writing this is because I believe that the Lord showed me a picture of my journey with Him this week. Just as Nichole and I climbed up that mountain, Jesus and I have been climbing a spiritual mountain. He is always there, stopping with me when I need to rest. He is there when I need to vent about how hard this is. He is still around when I decide weather to keep going or to head back down. He said that the day is coming when we will be able to reach the top and experience the joy that comes with it. As for now, we are climbing this mountain together, all the while getting to know each other.
As far as working out is concerned, I walked/ran two days and did Pilate's for two days. I took today (Friday) off because of a sore knee that I had yesterday and also because of sheer exhaustion. I will start up again on Monday.
This up hill battle has shown up over the last couple of weeks in several ways. The main way is that I have felt like I have no control over anything any more. I guess that this is a good thing as I should not be controlling and micro managing my life. I have felt like God is far away and has almost forgotten about me. I know that this is not true, but feelings are feelings and I cannot ignore them. I am learning to face the truth and proclaim it over myself daily.
Praise be to God who reigns on High! I am able to find victory in Him because He has already won all battles!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Week Three...Hit or miss
This last week was my third week of working out! I would love to say that I was out there all five days, but sadly I was not. We went walking/running on Wednesday and I actually was able to run a full half mile without stopping! This was a huge accomplishment for me as I realizes when I was done that I could have gone so much further. Friday was another day of walking/running and again was able to run another half mile. These were the only two days that I got out there and actually worked out. I guess that the laziness factor played into that. However, now I am back and running again as of today (Monday).
Last week was a very tough week. For several different reasons, I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I felt like God was somehow missing and didn't care any more. There was a weird depression that decided to settle in and make a home on my shoulders. I thought that the only thing in my life that I could control was working out and even that was a struggle last week. When I started having these thoughts, I realized just how much I try to control my life and other lives around me. I have left God out of the picture when it comes to who has the reigns and have left Him as my co-pilot (if even that.) This came as a huge disappointment to me and made me even more sad. But what I have learned about this is that even though I fall down, He is still there to pick me back up and tells me that He can take these burdens from me. It is not my job to take control of my life, it is His. I can't be a good daughter, friend, student, follower of the Most High God, etc. without my King Jesus taking this load from me.
When I am running, I am running in circles because we run at the track. This is such an amazing picture because I have realized that when I am trying to lead my own life without Jesus in control, I am spiritually running in circles. I can't get anywhere and the scenery never changes. It's laps after laps of running in circles, never getting to my destination. Maybe I should start running on the road for a change. Either way, I need Jesus to be the center of my world. I'm learning to say the word "No," this is a nice word when you are overbooked!
So my prayer points (for my life) this week are that I will be able to see the face of Jesus and have a heart that burns for only Him. This is a high order, but I believe that I have the right to ask. We will see how this week goes as far as running is concerned.
Be blessed might warriors,
Eden
Last week was a very tough week. For several different reasons, I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I felt like God was somehow missing and didn't care any more. There was a weird depression that decided to settle in and make a home on my shoulders. I thought that the only thing in my life that I could control was working out and even that was a struggle last week. When I started having these thoughts, I realized just how much I try to control my life and other lives around me. I have left God out of the picture when it comes to who has the reigns and have left Him as my co-pilot (if even that.) This came as a huge disappointment to me and made me even more sad. But what I have learned about this is that even though I fall down, He is still there to pick me back up and tells me that He can take these burdens from me. It is not my job to take control of my life, it is His. I can't be a good daughter, friend, student, follower of the Most High God, etc. without my King Jesus taking this load from me.
When I am running, I am running in circles because we run at the track. This is such an amazing picture because I have realized that when I am trying to lead my own life without Jesus in control, I am spiritually running in circles. I can't get anywhere and the scenery never changes. It's laps after laps of running in circles, never getting to my destination. Maybe I should start running on the road for a change. Either way, I need Jesus to be the center of my world. I'm learning to say the word "No," this is a nice word when you are overbooked!
So my prayer points (for my life) this week are that I will be able to see the face of Jesus and have a heart that burns for only Him. This is a high order, but I believe that I have the right to ask. We will see how this week goes as far as running is concerned.
Be blessed might warriors,
Eden
Friday, January 29, 2010
Snow...what to do?
Today completes my second full week of working out. It was been a very interesting week here in the lovely city (enter laugh here) of Alpine, Texas. I have a wonderful support base of friends who are helping me stay motivated to continue on this journey.
Monday was a great day to work out. Addie, my roommate, joined me and we ran more than I have ever ran before. I think we ended up walking/running for 2 1/4 miles. I think I ended up running for half of that time. A few other friends joined us in the gym. We had to go to the gym because the track was frozen over!!! I was quite sad because the monotony of running around the gym started to get to me after a while. But it was nice to catch up with Addie, as we hadn't really had a chance to hang out since school started. Tuesday and Thursday were Pilate's days! Oh boy, how I am starting to love the gentle stretching and ease of Pilates. Wednesday was running at the track with several wonderful women of God. Ended up walking 1 3/4 miles and running for 1/2 mile without stopping! I was super excited.
Today I ended up back at the gym because of frozen snow everywhere. This was a great exercise in not dying on the way to the gym because of black ice! Any way, I got on the stationary bike and ended up riding for 6 1/2 miles! Woo Hoo! So tired now! Worked with some weights and stretched to end this great week. I will tell you though, getting out of bed was very hard for me this morning. I went to bed late for the past two nights trying to fix my computer which makes for hard early mornings.
As for my body...I feel as though I have been hit by a truck! I am very sore and tired, but I know its worth it. I have lost approximately 5 lbs in the last two weeks! Starting to be able to fit back into my clothes after the unfortunate event of one to many cookies at Christmas time. Now, I'm starting to eat better and continue on this work out battle.
This week I realised that it is tough sticking out this walk. I have more energy than ever and my metabolism has skyrocketed; however, having the gumption to continue is tough. I know how my muscles are going to feel, but I still push on. Hopefully it will get easier from here.
This week there was a man who came to church named Keith Luker. He is a very talented musician and worshiper of God. It was a blessing to have him here and to pray for us. He prayed over several people, including myself, about receiving a double anointing to reach the unreached. I realised after this that worship for me has a much bigger burden than before. It surprises me that this has happened, simply because it was unexpected. But my Jesus is amazing. I said in a Bible study last night that my heart bleeds to worship Jesus. I don't know if that makes any sense to any one else, but it does for me. Basically saying that worshiping Jesus sets an unquenchable fire in my heart. Communicating with Jesus while worshiping is changing my heart for Him.
Any way, this week was good. I will update this blog next week as the work out saga continues.
Be blessed my beloved friends,
Eden
Monday was a great day to work out. Addie, my roommate, joined me and we ran more than I have ever ran before. I think we ended up walking/running for 2 1/4 miles. I think I ended up running for half of that time. A few other friends joined us in the gym. We had to go to the gym because the track was frozen over!!! I was quite sad because the monotony of running around the gym started to get to me after a while. But it was nice to catch up with Addie, as we hadn't really had a chance to hang out since school started. Tuesday and Thursday were Pilate's days! Oh boy, how I am starting to love the gentle stretching and ease of Pilates. Wednesday was running at the track with several wonderful women of God. Ended up walking 1 3/4 miles and running for 1/2 mile without stopping! I was super excited.
Today I ended up back at the gym because of frozen snow everywhere. This was a great exercise in not dying on the way to the gym because of black ice! Any way, I got on the stationary bike and ended up riding for 6 1/2 miles! Woo Hoo! So tired now! Worked with some weights and stretched to end this great week. I will tell you though, getting out of bed was very hard for me this morning. I went to bed late for the past two nights trying to fix my computer which makes for hard early mornings.
As for my body...I feel as though I have been hit by a truck! I am very sore and tired, but I know its worth it. I have lost approximately 5 lbs in the last two weeks! Starting to be able to fit back into my clothes after the unfortunate event of one to many cookies at Christmas time. Now, I'm starting to eat better and continue on this work out battle.
This week I realised that it is tough sticking out this walk. I have more energy than ever and my metabolism has skyrocketed; however, having the gumption to continue is tough. I know how my muscles are going to feel, but I still push on. Hopefully it will get easier from here.
This week there was a man who came to church named Keith Luker. He is a very talented musician and worshiper of God. It was a blessing to have him here and to pray for us. He prayed over several people, including myself, about receiving a double anointing to reach the unreached. I realised after this that worship for me has a much bigger burden than before. It surprises me that this has happened, simply because it was unexpected. But my Jesus is amazing. I said in a Bible study last night that my heart bleeds to worship Jesus. I don't know if that makes any sense to any one else, but it does for me. Basically saying that worshiping Jesus sets an unquenchable fire in my heart. Communicating with Jesus while worshiping is changing my heart for Him.
Any way, this week was good. I will update this blog next week as the work out saga continues.
Be blessed my beloved friends,
Eden
Monday, January 25, 2010
Week One
This week I started working out. Eight months ago I was told by the Lord that I should start running. I was not running like I was told, but am now doing my best to get into shape and to run as well as I can. The first few days were really tough; but as time goes on, I start to feel much better. I was envisioning all of my hopes and dreams when I was at my breaking point. The breaking point I speak of is the place when your body is tired and doesn’t want to go on any more. When I hit this, which at first was right off the bat, I started thinking about the wonderful husband that I will one day meet and the lovely children that I will one day have. With them in mind, all I could do was run because I knew that I needed to be healthier for them.
I found it interesting that this was a great depiction of a physical manifestation of what happens in the spirit. I know that battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and things of the spirit. Running for me was a physical picture of a battle. I was tired, worn out, and out of breath. I thought that if only I could quit for the day, then I could pick it up later. Through this whole thought process, I knew that if I were to quit, then I would never start up again. This is a life changing act and I can’t quit. As I pushed through this curtain of pain and seemingly death of the flesh, I knew that I could continue and change my life.
Fighting weight and looks is not the only thing. I was at a party last night and all I could think about was how I didn't fit in to the general mold and shape of how a young lady should look or act. As I was feeling completely rejected, I realized that this was another battle that was not of this world. This was a battle that I was allowing to happen in me, which all started with the thought that I was a reject. Along with the thought that I didn’t fit in, I thought once again that there would be no husband for me. For any man that I would love to marry, I knew he would be much better suited for some other amazing young lady.
This is a strategic move against me. For I know who and whose I am in Christ. I know that my Bridegroom has already been handpicked and chosen for me. This rejection battle is just that, a battle. It is not a struggle against people or even the words that they say. This is a struggle against the principalities. So I put on my full armor of the Lord and stand strong against this war that is raging.
I need to know the King of Kings. I need to know Him more than anyone else. I need to love Him more than anyone or anything else. My desire needs to be for Him alone. I don’t know how to achieve this, but I know that He is worth everything that this world has to offer and more.
I do not want to be tired and complacent any more. I choose to be actively seeking out my own faith and relationship with the King of Kings. As this occurs, I will jot down some more issues that I come up against.
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